Why was I too to do it?

I just didn't have the nuts to do it no matter how hard I tried. I was really upset the other day but I don't want to get into that right now. And I was gonna shave off all my hair, but I just couldn't do it. I have wavy medium length hair (normal?). What is up with me and my hair? I mean, why couldn't I let go? It's just hair and I wanted to prove that, but I couldn't.